he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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