dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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