you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize