It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Randomize
