I love black thongs
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
