if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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