im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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