Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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