I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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