tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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