What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
