If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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