you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
