The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
