also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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