Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
