I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
