New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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