Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
