I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
