and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
