From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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