Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
