piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
