My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
