My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Alive.
So much puke
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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