I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
