drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
