Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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