So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
