right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
