umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
