"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
