You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
