She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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