So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
