She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
