wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
