2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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