CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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