Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
