You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize