We won't sleep together?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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