is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't deserve a penis
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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