if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
