After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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