bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
