I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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