i just google imaged poop.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
