Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
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