I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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