Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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