do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
