hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
