i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
