It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
