Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
