apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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