Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
